It's All Coming Back To Me Now
by Ms Isabella
Summary: Joe Cruz has never gotten over the woman who broke his heart when she left to join the Navy. Flight Nurse Taylor Williams has always regretted never being able to get over Joe Cruz. When they run into each other at a scene, will they act on their unresolved feelings? Final chapter now up. Please feel free to read and review. Thanks! Jaylor.
1. Chapter 1

It's All Coming Back To Me Now…..

Chapter 1

With the patient safely delivered to the ER, Taylor made her way through the maze of ER personnel, and to the flight office. Once inside, she made her way over to the coffee pot.

"Rough one, huh?" a voice asked from the Dispatch desk.

"I've seen worse." She reached for the pot, and poured a cup of the hot and steaming liquid into her Nurses Call The Shots mug. She added creamers, and a Sweet & Low to the mug and took a sip. She had seen a lot worse in her time on the job. Eight years as a Navy Nurse had taught her to treasure every minute of life because one never knew when it was about to end.

She sat down at her desk and propped up her feet. She had been running since the start of her shift ten hours earlier. As much as she hoped the rest of her shift would be calm and quiet, she knew that wasn't going to be the case. Medical emergencies were a 24 hour a day job.

"Right, gotcha. I'll get them in the air forthwith," she heard the dispatcher say. Her feet hit the floor in record time, and she took one fast gulp of coffee, screaming inside as the hot liquid burned its way down to her stomach.

"Taylor, you're needed," the dispatcher said as he tore off a sheet of paper from his notepad. "It's really bad. CTA train wreck. Be careful."

She took the paper as she flew past his desk. She grabbed her flight helmet and headed out to the helipad. She knew this was probably not going to have a good outcome.

She jumped into the helicopter and handed the pilot the paper.

She checked the equipment boxes while preflight was going on. She hoped and prayed she had enough supplies for the multiple runs they would be making. If she needed to, she could call back to the hospital and have them get stock ready for her. That way she could just grab and go.

"You buckled in?" she heard through her helmet.

"Yes. Go. This one is going to suck big time."

As the helicopter lifted off, she said a prayer so she could do the best job she could to help the people that she was going to meet.

On the ground, she hopped out as soon as it was safe. She hurried over to the triage area, and met up with the paramedics. She spoke briefly with Shay and Dawson and loaded the first critical patient into the helicopter.

"Back ASAP," she yelled at them before the helicopter lifted off.

Heading toward a fire with a hose, Cruz noticed the helicopter had arrived. He noticed the flight crew heading toward Shay and Dawson. Something familiar nagged at his brain. He couldn't figure it out, but he set it aside because he had a job to do.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

As the helicopter landed one more time, Taylor wondered if this would be the last transport. Three helicopters were working in tandem to get the most severely injured to trauma centers. She jumped out of the helicopter and jogged across the grass to the triage area.

"Last one," Shay said as she and Dawson pushed the gurney toward the helicopter. "Thanks for all of your help."

"No, thank you two. I've never seen a triage area so organized. Thanks so much for making things easy," Taylor acknowledged. As she looked them over, she saw fatigue setting in. She knew they were exhausted, but they were running on adrenaline just as she was. "If you need us again, call. We can be here in 5 minutes." She handed both Shay and Dawson her business card.

"Thanks. We're good for now."

Taylor jumped in, and took a final look at the horror before her. She caught the name on the back of a CFD turnout coat, and turned pale. Cruz. _'Can't be,'_she told herself as she shook her head_. 'And even if it is, he's probably married with a bunch of kids by now.' _

Cruz watched the helicopter take off, and took one more look at the lady standing in the doorway of the body_. 'Can't be,'_ he thought. _'And even if it is, she's probably married with a bunch of kids by now.' _He sighed and started rolling the hose. It just couldn't be Taylor Williams.

Inside the helicopter, Taylor was busy assessing the current patient. Her flight paramedic had taken vitals, and had reported them to her. She attached monitor leads to the chest, and turned it on, then called in to the ER desk, giving report. "Start an IV with Lactated Ringers wide open," she said to her paramedic. She stared at the monitor. It was just as she had expected—tachycardia. "Ok. See you in a few," she said before hanging up and inserting another line. She was just applying the OpSite dressing when she felt the gentle bump of a landing. She hopped out, bringing the gurney with her, and meeting the doctor and a team of nurses on the helipad.

"Thanks, Taylor. We've got it," she heard as the team took off toward the ER doors. She took off her helmet and shook her hair free.

"Joe Cruz," she mumbled. "Damn…."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

'Shower. Junk ,' Taylor thought as she entered her apartment several hours later. She was off for the next 48 after putting in another 3 hours of overtime. Checking her watch, she noticed it was too late to call Lou's for a Deep Dish. She walked across the living room, and headed for the bathroom. _'There's that bar down the street on the corner. I can at least head down there for a burger,'_ she decided as she turned on the shower.

Half an hour later, freshly showered and dressed in jeans and a Blackhawks hoodie, Taylor entered the bar. She glanced around and saw a bunch of people that not only seemed to know each other, but were obviously having a good time. She walked to the bar and waited for the bartender to make his way down to her.

She sipped her beer as she waited for her burger and onion rings. Her phone buzzed, and she pulled it out of her pocket. She read the text, and typed in an answer.

Cruz looked toward the door when it opened, and couldn't believe his eyes. It was the same woman who was at the accident scene earlier. He couldn't identify her then, but now that he saw her face not covered by her flight helmet, he could. He swore under his breath.

"What's wrong, Cruz?" Otis asked.

"Nothing."

"Something must be. You usually don't swear like that for nothing."

Joe sighed. He didn't want to go there with Otis. He didn't want to go there with any of them. It hurt too much.

"Not ready to share, Otis. Sorry."

"Ok," Otis said, wondering how he could get Cruz to spill.

Taylor glanced around again, noticing faces this time. She got to the table next to the dart board and stopped cold. Her stomach dropped. She started to shake. She felt her knees give out. Had she been standing, she would have been on the floor butt first.

Joe stared at her. She was still just as pretty as she was in high school. She had filled out even nicer than he had remembered, but he attributed that to her time in the Navy. Her hair was darker than he remembered, but there was no mistaking her brown eyes. He wondered if he should approach her and find out why she had left him. She claimed it was to join the Navy, and at the time, he had bought that reason. He always wondered if she was telling the truth, or if she had just used it as an excuse to leave him and Chicago.

Taylor looked at him. His hair was gone, but it could be due to him shaving his head, going along with the popular trend. He was thinner than she remembered, but he was still stocky. She had always loved being snuggled up against him because she always felt safe when she was wrapped in his arms. She shook her head. _'You're not 17 anymore, Taylor Elizabeth,'_ she scolded herself. _'Get over Joe Cruz.'_ She sighed and sipped her beer. That was the problem. As hard as she tried, she could never get over him.

Cruz sipped his beer. Maybe it was time to bury the past forever. He stood up, and started for her seat at the bar.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

He got halfway across the room, then stopped and approached the bar in the other direction. He chugged the rest of his beer and waited for Hermann to pour him another one. He knew he should just approach her, but he couldn't just yet. He needed another beer first.

Hermann came back from the kitchen with a takeout bag. He approached Taylor and slid the bag across the bar to her. She handed him a twenty. "Thanks," she said as she picked up the bag. She slid off the bar stool and headed for the door.

Joe watched her go, and mentally kicked himself for not talking to her. On the other hand, she didn't talk to him either.

"Taylor?" she heard a voice calling from behind her. She turned.

She saw who had called her. "Joe."

He jogged toward her, and stopped beside her. "I saw you at the scene today. I thought it was you," he said awkwardly.

"I saw you too. But, as you saw, I couldn't say hello."

"Um, no. Everyone was too busy. Can we go back inside and talk?" he asked hopefully.

She wanted to. Lord, she wanted to. What she really wanted was to throw her arms around him and kiss him half to death. She nodded and followed him back inside.

Once inside, Joe approached the bar and ordered a pitcher and dinner for himself while Taylor found a quiet table where they could talk undisturbed.

Joe brought the pitcher and mugs to the table, and poured beer for each of them. She glanced at him awkwardly. He glanced at her like he was trying to find something to say.

"I'm sorry," they said in unison.

"What did I do that was so horrible that you had to run away and join the Navy?" he asked.

"I was young and foolish, Joe. And I was very stupid."

"Young I can understand. Stupid, I can't."

She sucked in a deep breath. "Promise you won't get mad?"

"I promise."

"Remember this goes back to a nineteen year olds mind, not the adults we are today."

"Okay," he agreed, wondering where this was going.

When you didn't get me a ring for Christmas that year, I was upset. I took that as you didn't want to marry me. That I was only good enough to sleep with, but not good enough to marry."

Joe stared at her. His eyes blinked several times, and he felt like he had just been body slammed against the floor. "You really thought that? Really?"

She nodded, totally ashamed. "I was stupid."

"Taylor," he started as he picked up her hand. It was confession time. Twenty years too late, but better late than never. "You didn't get a ring that Christmas because I wasn't done paying on it. I had two more payments. I was going to give it to you for Valentine's Day, but you ran away."

She sighed. "Yes, I did. At the time it seemed like the right thing to do, but in hindsight-" She glanced down at her hand entwined in his. She felt that safeness that she had always felt with him. "Can you ever forgive me?"

"Can you forgive me?" he challenged.

"I did years ago."

He looked down at their hands. As usual, her left was in his right. He noticed her ring finger was empty. "Not married?"

She shook her head.

"Me either."

"Because of me?" she asked, fearing the answer. She wouldn't be able to live with herself knowing he had never married because of her running away.

"Just never met anyone else I wanted to marry."

"Same."

Hermann approached the table with Joe's burger and fries. "Here you go, Cruz. Eat up while it's still hot." He looked over at Taylor and noticed the takeout bag was sitting next to her untouched. "You too before it gets cold."

Taylor watched him walk back to the bar. "Who's the smartass?" she asked as she reached inside the bag.

"That's Chris Hermann. He works Truck with me. He's part owner of this place."

"It's a nice place," she agreed.

"I've never seen you in here before."

"First time in. Got home from work and it was too late to order from Lou's. It's right down the street from my place."

He nodded and took a bite of his burger. She took the lid off of her take out container, and placed some onion rings in it, then pushed it over to his side of the table. He took one and ate it, then picked up some fries and placed them in an empty compartment of her container. She looked down and giggled. They had fallen into their old habit of sharing their sides. Odd that twenty years later, they were still on the same wavelength. Joe looked down and realized what they had done. "Old habits die hard."

_Author's Note: I took three days to think this chapter over. I waffled between a big, huge, drama scene or a laid back one, and decided the drama scene was just not Cruz. I figured he had been hurt enough and what they needed was a quiet talk to work things out rationally. My apologies if you were expecting a big drama scene. Taylor is not one to yell and scream (at least not now that she's grown up into an adult) unless it involves saving the lives of her patients. _

_Thank you all for very kind and generous reviews. You are the reason why I keep writing. *Bows humbly* I hope you liked this chapter. _


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

"Hey, Cruz! It's closing time! Get the hell out!" Hermann called from the bar.

"Leaving in a minute, Hermann! Geeez…." He turned back to Taylor. "Closing time. Guess I'd better go home, but I don't want to."

"We could always go to my place," she offered. "I have cold beer and munchies." She had enjoyed the evening catching up with him.

"We could do that," he agreed.

They finished their beers, and Taylor fished in her wallet for a five dollar bill. Joe looked at her curiously.

"Tip for the bartender. He did a good job keeping the beer coming."

"Yeah, he was trying to figure out what was going on with us. Don't let him fool you."

Taylor made her way to the bar. Hermann made his way over to see what she wanted. She handed him the bill. "Thanks for all of your service tonight. It meant a lot."

Hermann eyed the bill. Tips didn't come often in the bar. Not that the guys at 51 were cheap, but bartenders were often overlooked on the tipping scale. "Thank you, Ma'am. It's appreciated. Come back any time."

"I will," she promised. "You have a nice place here."

She joined Joe, and he took her hand as they left the bar.

"Who's the fox with Cruz?" Hermann asked.

Otis shook his head. "He won't say, but I think they might have known each other before."

"I would say so. They were getting pretty cozy at the table."

Inside Taylor's apartment, they sat on the sofa and turned on a replay of the Hawks game. Joe stretched his arm across the couch, and Taylor snuggled in as close as she could. He held the bowl of chips on his lap, the dip container sat on the coffee table. During intermission, she got up to refill the chip bowl and replace the beer.

"It's like you never left," he observed.

"Now I am wishing that I didn't."

He set the chip bowl on the coffee table and turned to her. "We can't go back, Taylor. But we _can _go forward. _If_ you want to."

"I want to," she said. "Do you?"

"Yes."

He moved forward, she moved forward to meet him. Their lips met. Joe groaned. After all these years, he was kissing Taylor again, and Taylor was kissing him back. He wanted to pinch himself because he was certain he was dreaming, and he didn't want to wake up if he was.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Taylor woke wondering what brick wall she was resting against. She opened her eyes, and realized the brick wall was a human back_. 'Joe,'_ she thought as she wrapped her arm around him and closed her eyes.

Thoughts of last night ran through her mind. When she thought about what she would say if she ever saw Joe again, it was not what she had said. She had expected tears, yelling, and arguments about what she had done. She never had expected that he would give her another chance_. 'Please, God'_ she prayed_. 'Please let us have the chance this time. You know I love him.'_

Joe rolled over, and slid his arm around Taylor. He still couldn't believe she was back and in his life. When he asked if she wanted to move forward, he had convinced himself that she was going to say no. He was overjoyed when she said yes. He just hoped this time she wouldn't run away again. He vowed that wouldn't happen again.

"Good morning, Beautiful," he said as he gave her cheek a kiss.

"Good morning, Handsome," she said as she opened her eyes. "I guess I'm not dreaming."

"If you are, I am."

She reached out her arms and wrapped them around his neck. She kissed him. "Thank you for taking me back."

"Welcome. You have to work today?"

"No. I'm on my 48 off."

"Me too. Why don't we go down to the Navy Pier later?"

"That would be fun. I haven't been there since the last time we were there."

"That long ago? How long have you been back?"

"Fifteen years. I got a job at Chicago Med in the ER and then transferred to UCAN when they had an opening."

"You like it?"

"Love it. It's fast paced and no two days are the same. What made you decide to be a firefighter?"

"I applied for the police academy and the fire department. The fire department called first."

"You like it?"

"I do. Except for when things don't turn out so good."

She let out a breath. "Yeah, that's always hard to take."

They walked along the Navy Pier eating corn dogs and playing the games. Joe carried a huge stuffed teddy bear that he was certain would grace Taylor's bed later. It felt good to be out with Taylor. "So, mini golf?" he asked.

"Of course. And the Ferris Wheel?"

"And the Ferris Wheel," he agreed.

They made their way over to the mini golf course, and Taylor held the bear as Joe paid. 

"Is there a locker where we can store the bear?" Taylor asked the golf attendant.

"Not really, but I can babysit while you play," he said.

Taylor passed the bear over. "Might be longer than you think. We used to play all day."

"And we're still going to play golf all day," Joe reminded.

Taylor smiled as she walked happily behind him. The last time she had played, Joe beat her all but one game. She didn't care because she was with Joe. He had saved for two weeks for that date, and even though all they did was come down to the pier and spend the day, it still qualified as one of the best dates of her life.

Joe led her to the first hole and motioned for her to go first. "Thank you, Sir," she said as she set her ball down and tried to line up her shot. When the ball went into the hole, she looked at Joe. "You have to kiss me," she reminded.

He chuckled and stepped forward. "Yes I do." He was surprised that she remembered their silly deal from years ago, but he was also secretly delighted. Apparently, he crossed her mind as much as she crossed his. He bent over and gave her a gentle kiss. "Keep your lips ready because you're going to be kissing me again in a minute," he said as he picked up his golf club and lined up his shot.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Joe made his way into the house and headed for the locker room. He changed into his CFD uniform, and stowed his bag in his locker. He hated to leave Taylor, but she had to be at work too. He was still amazed at how his life had turned around in just 72 hours.

He felt his phone vibrate and he pulled it out of his pocket. He read the text and smiled.

_Have a good day. Be safe. Love, T. _

He stood there with a goofy grin on his face as he texted back to her.

_You too. Fly safe. J._

Otis opened his locker door. "So what's up? You haven't been home for a couple of days."

"Ran into an old friend and stayed there for a couple of days," Joe said, not wanting to explain, but knowing he was going to have to.

"The girl from the bar?"

Joe leaned against his locker. "Yes, the girl from the bar. And before you start, she's my old girlfriend from high school."

Otis stood there with his mouth hanging open.

"What? You don't think I had a girlfriend before?"

"No, it's not that," Otis said, recovering from the shock. "You've just never talked about her before."

"Long story," he said as he sat down on the bench. "She left to join the Navy."

"And left you behind."

"That is what I thought at the time. Turns out, that wasn't true."

Otis nodded. "So you're going to try again?"

"Yes. We're trying again. So far, so good."

"It's only been 48 hours, Joe. Lots of stuff can happen down the road."

"And if and when it does, I'll handle it." He stood up, not wanting to talk about the possibility of bad stuff happening to him and Taylor. He left the locker room and made his way to the kitchen to grab a cup of coffee.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

"Well, someone's in a good mood this morning," the dispatcher greeted as Taylor entered the UCAN office.

"Stuff it, Sunshine," Taylor mock snapped as she walked over to the refrigerator. Reaching inside, she extracted an orange, a container of cream, and a piece of string cheese. She was unwrapping it when the rest of the flight crew entered the office.

"Whoa, look at Taylor! All scrubbed up and nowhere to go."

"Smartass," she retorted as she finished unwrapping the cheese. She bit into it and turned back to the coffee.

"Must have had a good 48 off."

"Had a wonderful 48 off. And no, you're not getting any details."

"So who's the dude you were with at the Navy Pier?"

Taylor froze. She didn't expect to get called out on her date with Joe. "None of your business," she said evenly.

"You two looked pretty friendly."

She sighed. "Pagano, it's none of your business. I'm allowed to have a private life."

"Yeah, you are, but we're entitled to know who you're dating."

"No you're not," she reminded as she made her way to her desk. She snatched the Tribune from the coffee table as she passed. "I'll be in my office."

Pagano watched her leave. Something was up with Taylor, and he didn't know what. Usually she was an open book about what she did on her days off. She usually volunteered at the free clinic for a few hours. She never mentioned a boyfriend in the eight years she had worked for UCAN.

Taylor sipped her coffee and read the paper. She paused every few minutes and thought of Joe. She pulled out her phone and sent him a text.

_Have a good day. Be safe. Love, T. _

Otis walked into the common area and took his seat at the table. He picked up the Sports page knowing it would annoy Cruz.

"Thanks, Otis," Cruz said sarcastically as he picked up the front page.

"For what?"

"For taking the sports page."

"I'll be through with it in a minute. Just wait your turn."

Cruz scanned the headlines, and opened up the front page. He closed the paper, got up from the table, and headed out to the truck bay.

"What's up, Cruz?" Severide asked.

"Otis is being a prick," Cruz said. "It's getting old."

"Want us to deal you in?" Severide asked, indicating the poker game.

"Sure. I'll play a hand or two."

He picked up his cards and looked at them. Capp eyed him. The table was silent. "What?" Cruz asked.

"So who's the fox you left Molly's with the other night?"

Cruz tossed his cards on the table. "You guys are worse than Otis." He picked up his cards and looked them over. The guys were silent. Cruz sighed. "She's my old girlfriend from high school. She's a flight nurse over at Chicago Med. We had a beer and caught up on old times."

"And spent the day playing mini golf."

Cruz sighed. Did everyone know his business?

"Hey Man, it's all good," Severide said. "We're happy for you. We just have to bust your balls a bit."

Cruz placed two cards face down on the table. "I need two."

Severide dealt him two cards. Joe looked at them and placed them next to the three cards he held.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Her 12 hour shift completed, Taylor headed for her apartment. She showered and slipped into a petticoat and a flowy yellow dress. She tied her hair back into a ponytail, and tied it up with a yellow ribbon. _"Now to find shoes,"_ she mumbled as she moved back into her bedroom. She decided to skip the tiara.

Joe knocked on Taylor's door, feeling totally and utterly stupid. When Otis had the bright idea to have a Halloween party at Molly's, everyone was up for the idea. Then Otis insisted it had to be a costume party. Taylor was on board as Disney Princess Belle, but she drew the line at Joe being Beast or Shrek. She insisted he was too handsome to be either one. So, he did the only thing he could do. He cut two eye holes out of a sheet.

"Hi, come on in," she said as she answered the door. "Where's your costume?"

Joe held up the sheet. "Best I could do," he offered as he gave her a kiss and a hug. "You look beautiful."

She curtsied. "Thank you, Kind Sir. " She looked at the sheet crumpled in Joe's hand. "You're not upset about not getting to be Beast or Shrek?"

"No. I didn't want to be either."

She had an idea. She walked over to her desk and pulled out an index card. She wrote something on the card, and went looking for something else. She returned a minute later. "Can you put your costume on for a minute?" she asked.

"Why?"

"Because I have an idea."

"Taylor-"he started, but he put the sheet over his head. She pinned the card to where his forehead was.

"Ok, you can take it off now."

Joe took the sheet and pulled it off of his head. He fiddled with it until he found the index card. He looked at it and looked up at her. "XY is my ghost name?"

"You're not a ghost anymore," she pointed out.

"OK, so what am I?"

"Now you're a sperm."

"Taylor!"

"In honor of Hermann's vasectomy." She noticed he looked uncomfortable. "If people start giving you a hassle, you can take it off," she conceded.

He stared at her for a minute, then started to laugh. "A sperm! No one would have ever thought of that." He drew her into his arms and gave her a kiss. "Thanks, Babe. You're the greatest."


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Joe held the door open for Taylor as they reached Molly's. Inside, the party was going full force. They were handed pieces of paper and pens and told it was to write down who they thought had the best costume. Otis saw them enter, and hurried over.

"Hello, I'm Brian. You must be Taylor."

"I am." She looked at Joe. "You never mentioned Brian."

"Yes I do. You know him as Otis. He's just being a smartass tonight because he's trying to get into your good graces."

"Nice to meet you, Brian/Otis," she said as she shook his hand. "Joe's told me a lot about you."

"Funny. He never mentions you."

"That's because it's private, Otis. Now go buzz off."

Otis glanced at Joe. "Where's your costume?"

Joe held it up.

"Put it on."

"I will. Later. Now buzz off. Let me have a date in peace."

As Otis left, Taylor looked at Joe. "That was kind of rude."

"He would have hounded you to death if I wouldn't have stopped it. He can't believe you and I used to date."

"What? You're not allowed to have a girlfriend?"

"Not according to Otis."

Taylor slipped her arms around him. "I'm very happy to be your girlfriend."

"I'm very happy you are."

"Awww… look at the Lovefest going on," Hermann started at the end of the bar.

"Shut up, Hermann!"

Taylor gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Let me go grab some beer. Find us a place to sit?"

He looked around as she walked over to the bar.

"Over here, Cruz," Matt called.

Joe joined Casey, Gabby, Shay, and Severide. "Thanks, guys."

"You by yourself?"

"No, Taylor is at the bar. She'll be over in a minute."

"You made her buy drinks?"

"No, she wanted to buy drinks."

Taylor glanced around and found where Joe was sitting. She ordered a round for the table.

"I'll deliver them," he told Taylor. "It will be hard for you to hold the beer and your dress."

Taylor curtsied. "Thank you, Mr. Hermann." She picked up a mug and made her way over to the table. Joe slid over to make room for her when she arrived.

"Guys, this is Taylor," Joe said. "Taylor, this is Casey, Dawson, Shay and Severide."

"Hi," she greeted. "It's nice to meet all of you."

Hermann appeared with the beer. He started passing them out. "Here you go. Enjoy."

"Thanks, Hermann," Casey said as he passed the mugs down the table. He looked at Joe. "Where's your costume?"

Joe pointed to the wadded up sheet on the table.

"He's embarrassed to wear it," Taylor said as she took a sip of beer.

Joe rolled his eyes. "She put a card on it. That's what's embarrassing."

"Well, now you have to show us, Cruz," Severide baited. "We have to see what she did."

"Oh no," Joe said emphatically. "NFW."

"Don't be silly, Joseph," Taylor said. I told you you could take it off if you got hassled."

Joe sighed and held up the costume, but didn't put it on. Gabby stared at it, then started to giggle. "Oh my God, I love it! Cruz, you have to put it on."

Shay laughed. Casey and Severide looked confused.

"Don't you guys get it?" Gabby asked. "He's a sperm!" She reached across the table and gave Taylor a high five. "That's priceless!"


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

"It's in honor of Hermann's vasectomy," Taylor explained.

"You have to go show him, Cruz," Gabby said. "He'll love it."

Joe stood up. "I'll show him. Then I'm taking it off." He stood up and walked over to the bar.

Gabby filled out her piece of paper. "He definitely gets my vote for best costume," she said as she laughed harder.

"Why do you girls know what you know about sperm and we didn't get it?" Casey asked.

"Because we're taught to stay away from it unless we want to have kids," Taylor explained. Besides, Gabby and Leslie are paramedics. They had to take Anatomy class."

Casey shook his head. "I guess," he conceded.

Taylor watched Joe head to the bar. "I have a feeling he's made at me now."

"He'll get over it," Severide said.

Joe stood at the bar. Hermann asked if he needed another beer. "No. I'm supposed to show you my costume. It's in honor of your vasectomy. Taylor's idea."

Hermann looked at his costume and started to laugh. "Thanks, Buddy! Best costume I've seen tonight! Hold on to that one. She's good for you."

Joe shook his head. "It's not _that _funny."

"Are you kidding me? It's great!" He wrote down something on a bar napkin and tossed it into the ballot box. "So you want beer or not?"

"Yes, get the table another round," he said as he peeled off the sheet. "I can't believe she talked me into this."

Hermann set 6 mugs on a tray. "This round's on me for having such a great costume."

"Thanks, Hermann. Can I get some nachos for the table? And some mozzarella sticks too."

"No problem. And tell Taylor her idea was great!"

Taylor and Joe made the walk back to her apartment in silence. He was angry and brooding, and she wasn't going to say anything to set him off. When they reached her door, she invited him in, but he said no. When no goodnight kiss was offered, she entered her dark apartment and headed straight to bed.

Joe sat in the dark living room of his apartment, wondering if he should call Taylor and apologize or just leave it alone. He hated it when they fought, although they really didn't have a fight. They had just stopped talking. He stood up. "Women," he muttered as he flipped on the TV.

Taylor tossed and turned, unable to get to sleep. She got out of bed and headed for the living room. She checked her phone. She sighed when she saw there were no new phone calls, voice mail, or text messages. _'Guess he's still pissed,'_ she thought as she set her phone down.

She felt a tear slip down her cheek. She should have known having Joe back in her life was too good to be true.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

"Holiday schedule is up," Pagano announced as Taylor entered the UCAN office. 

Taylor walked over and looked at it before signing up for Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year's.

"You know they're not going to let you work all three," Pagano reminded.

"They will if they get desperate enough."

"You always work holidays. How come?"

"I like to keep busy."

Pagano joined her in the kitchen and watched her pour a cup of coffee. "What's going on, Taylor?"

"Nothing's going on." She added cream and two packs of Sweet N Low, then stirred the hot liquid. "Working a holiday means I don't have to cook."

"You will anyway."

"Pagano, I don't know why you are fishing, but my personal life is not your business. So please, keep your nose out of it." She felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. She pulled it out, hoping it was a text from Joe. She tried to mask her disappointment when she saw it wasn't. "Excuse me, I have to make a call."

Inside her office, she read the text from Otis.

_Joe is miserable. Can you please call him? _

"_You're not the only one, Joe,"_ she mumbled as she put her phone back in her pocket.

"Would you just apologize already?" Otis asked Cruz desperately. "You're getting to be impossible to live with."

"Mind your own business, Otis," Joe snapped.

"Look, Cruz. You're miserable. I'm sure she is miserable. Just say you're sorry and you two can go back to normal again."

"Doubt that. She probably ran away again."

"That was low, Cruz. Even for you. Look, she didn't do anything wrong with the costume. You won best costume for cryin' out loud. The least you can do is take the money you won and take her out for dinner. Why you're being so pissy about this, I just don't understand."

"She embarrassed me in front of my friends," Joe insisted stubbornly.

"Embarrassed how? Everyone loved your costume. They weren't laughing at you, they were laughing at the costume. There's a big difference, Cruz." Otis sat down at the table.

Joe stood up from the table and picked up his coffee cup. He walked out of the kitchen and to the bathroom.

Otis heard the shower starting and realized there wasn't going to be any more discussion. He sighed. He really hated this Mexican standoff between Cruz and Taylor. By the way things were going, it looked like they were never going to talk to each other again. He pulled out his phone and sent Taylor another text.

_Would you PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE talk to Cruz? He's driving me crazy._


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Shift over, Joe made his way down the hall to his apartment. He stopped short when he noticed a figure sitting beside his apartment door. "Taylor?" he asked.

"Hi,"she said.

"What's going on?" he asked.

He looked her over from head to toe. She looked awful. Dark circles were under her eyes. Her eyes were bloodshot indicating either a lack of sleep or from crying. She looked about 10 pounds thinner—weight she couldn't afford to lose. He took a step forward and held out his hand. She took it, and he pulled her up from her sitting position. He wrapped her in his arms. "I'm so sorry," he said as he hugged her tighter. "I was an ass."

"I'm sorry I embarrassed you. I should have just let you go as a ghost instead of trying to be a smartass." She snuggled into his shoulder.

"Shhh… it's okay," he soothed. "You didn't do anything wrong. I was an ass. And I almost lost you."

"I'm not going anywhere."

"Want to go grab some breakfast?" he asked hopefully.

She nodded. "But I need a nap first."

Joe unlocked the door. "Come on in. It will be quiet because Otis is pulling some overtime over at 4."

She followed him inside. "I just need an hour and then I'll be good."

"Sleep as long as you need to. You know where the bedroom is."

She took off her jacket and shoes. She knew where the bedroom was because she and Joe were getting down to some serious business when Otis had come home unexpectedly. "Just give me an hour. When I wake up, I'll cook."

Joe waited till Taylor was asleep and quietly left the apartment. He didn't want to be gone long, but he had a very important errand to run.

An hour later, Joe returned with groceries. He put them away, then went to wake up Taylor.

She opened the bathroom door just as he walked by. "Oh. Hi," she greeted.

"Hi. I was just going to wake you up."

"I'm up. I'll be out as soon as I get dressed."

He glanced down at her to see she was wearing her UCAN tee shirt. While everything was covered, he stared down at the floor. "Ok. I'll give you privacy."

Taylor reached out and hugged him. "You're so sweet," she said as she kissed his cheek. "Give me 3 minutes."

Three minutes later, she was in the kitchen checking out the contents of the fridge. "Omelettes okay?" she called to Joe who was in the living room watching ESPN.

"Sounds good," he agreed. He didn't care what Taylor made for breakfast. He liked everything she cooked.

"So I got Blackhawks tickets for Sunday night. Are you on shift?" she called from the kitchen.

"No, start back Monday."

"Would you like to go? And please say yes because I don't want to have to sell the tickets to a scalper."

"Sure, I'll go. Can't let a ticket go to waste."

"Awesome!" She cut the omelette in half, and added bacon to the plate. "Do you want toast?"

"No, but juice would be nice."

She set the plates on the table, and got the orange juice from the fridge. She poured two glasses and cups of coffee. "Ok, we're ready."

Joe set the remote down and made his way over to the table. "It looks good."

"Sit. Eat."

He walked over to her and pulled out her chair. "Sit. Eat."

Taylor smiled, and sat. Joe pushed in her chair before taking his seat. He dug into his eggs, then took a sip of coffee. "So, what are you doing for Thanksgiving?"

"Working Midnight," she said as she picked up a strip of bacon.

"Midnight to Eight or Midnight to Noon?"

"Midnight to Noon. Why?"

"Would you like to go out and have dinner after work?"

She nodded. "I'd like that." She cut into her omelette. "I signed up for Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years because we weren't talking and I didn't want to be by myself."

"We'll work on it. We can coordinate schedules. Even if it means having dinner at Midnight."

"You'd do that?"

"Of course."

Taylor sat back and looked at him. She always knew Joe had a big heart, but she never expected him to change his schedule because she was working. "Thank you."

Joe waved his hand. "Anytime."


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

As Taylor left the UCAN office, she noticed Joe coming toward her carrying a bouquet of flowers. 

"Hi," he said as he gave her a hug and a kiss.

"Hi," she greeted, surprised by both his presence and the flowers.

Embarrassed, he handed her the flowers. "Happy Thanksgiving."

"Happy Thanksgiving. I didn't expect you to come and pick me up."

"I wanted to."

She smiled. "I'm glad you did. So what's the plan?"

"I made reservations for 2:00. I figured that would give you time to go home and shower. We can go to the Navy Pier after. Is that okay?"

"Of course it's okay. But the golf course is closed."

Joe led her to his car and opened the door for her. Closing her door, he walked around to his side and got in. "Yeah, darn it. I was in the mood to beat your ass too."

She laughed. "I was hoping since the weather was so nice that maybe they would stay open longer, but not this year."

"It's nice to not have snow on Thanksgiving. It doesn't happen often."

"No, it doesn't." Chicago was having an unseasonably warm autumn. "But it makes work a lot easier."

"You fly in the winter?"

"If it gets too bad, we don't, but yes, for the most part we do."

"Doesn't it get scary?"

"Sometimes, but we have good pilots. They don't risk anything."

As they walked along the Navy Pier, Taylor was regretting eating so much. Dinner had been a delicious feast of turkey, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, corn, cranberry sauce, and a ton of gravy. Generally, she ate healthy, but did allow herself to cheat on Thanksgiving and Christmas.

"Ferris Wheel?" Joe asked, knowing her answer would be an easy yes. Taylor loved the Ferris Wheel. The first time they went to Navy Pier, he got up the nerve to kiss her for the first time on the top of the Ferris Wheel.

"Of course. You don't think you're going to get away with taking me to the Navy Pier and not kiss me do you?"

Joe chuckled. "You'll get kissed. Sooner or later," he promised.

"Yeah, I know. I'm too easy."

"I wouldn't say that. Seems to me you held out for two months before you let me kiss you."

"That didn't mean I didn't want you to," she admitted.

"And I wanted to."

They got on the ride and Taylor snuggled in to Joe. As they climbed higher, Joe felt a knot in his stomach, and he felt nauseated. Sensing the change, Taylor looked up at him.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah. Just ate too much," he lied.

"I have some Tums if you need them," she offered.

"Thanks, but I think I'll be okay."

Reaching the top, Taylor expected Joe to kiss her. When it wasn't forthcoming, she started to worry. Instead, Joe took her hand.

"Joe?" she asked, worried that he still wasn't feeling well.

"Taylor," he started.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm okay. I think." He took a deep breath and let it out. "Taylor, marry me."

She looked at him, eyes wide open, her breath coming in shallow puffs. She nodded, not able to trust her voice.

Joe slipped the ring on her finger. She looked down at it, then up at him. "Is this-?"

He nodded. "It's the one I bought you all those years ago."

"Oh, Joe," she said as she hugged him. "I love you so much."


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Taylor stared down at her ring. She was still in shock that not only had Joe proposed, he had kept the ring he had bought her back in 1994. She loved it. He knew her so well. He knew she didn't care for just a plain solitaire because everyone had plain solitaire diamonds. She wanted something different and unique. What graced her hand was a brilliant cut center diamond with three smaller diamonds on each side. She was sure it had cost him a fortune back then. Back when she had been accepted at Loyola and he was waiting for Chicago PD or CFD to call and offer him a position. It seemed like a lifetime ago. 

"You don't like it?" Joe asked worriedly. He had thought long and hard about whether he should buy her a new ring or give her the one he had bought. Part of him still felt guilty for not buying her a bigger and fancier ring now that he could afford it.

"I love it, Joe. It's just hard to believe that you kept it all of these years.

"I never stopped hoping," he admitted.

What he had no intention of telling her was he had stashed it in his safe deposit box at the bank so he didn't have to look at it and be reminded. The morning they had made up from their Halloween fight, he had made a trip to the bank to retrieve it. He had decided to propose at Thanksgiving because he had hoped to have a Christmas wedding. It didn't have to be anything fancy—just the guys from 51 and the priest. That, however, was Taylor's decision. Whatever she wanted, he would go along with.

"I never did either. I tried to tell myself I was returning to Chicago because it was home, but the truth is I was hoping I would run into you somewhere. Too bad it only took 15 years."

"You could have called, you know."

"I thought you would be married with a bunch of little Cruzes running around. And if that were the case, I knew I couldn't handle it."

"And I figured you were married to some Navy guy. What changed your mind and made you go into nursing?"

"I started as a Corpsman. I did a year, and they picked me to go to nursing school. Then I had to give them back 4 years because they paid for school. As soon as my hitch was up, I came back to Chicago. It wasn't because I didn't like the military. I did. But I couldn't handle all of the sailors that were younger than me dying before I had a chance to help them."

"But you do UCAN," he pointed out.

"Different," she explained. "While I have them in the helo, I can give them a fighting chance. By the time I got them at the field hospital, most of the time, too much time elapsed and they couldn't be saved."

"I don't know how you do it, Taylor."

She looked up at him. "I don't understand how you run into burning buildings either, but you do."

"I do. It's my job."

"There you go. It's my job."

They drove through the city to Taylor's apartment. "The Bears and Lions game* will be on soon. Do you want to watch it?" he asked.

"Of course."

"Awesome," he said as he pulled into a convenience store. When she gave him a weird look, he explained, "We need beer and munchies."

*Author's Note: The Bears and Lions will play the Thanksgiving game in 2014. I am borrowing it for the story only because Joe is a big Bears fan.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

Joe pulled into the ER area at Chicago Med. He put the car in Park, and turned off the engine. He got out and walked over to the passenger side. He opened the door and helped Taylor out. He gave her a hug and a kiss. "Go save some lives and I'll see you in the morning."

Taylor stayed in his hug a bit longer than she normally would before giving him another kiss. "I will. Be careful out there."

"I will. Promise. Love you."

"Love you more," she called as she started inside.

"Taylor-" he called. She turned around. "Love you most."

Taylor headed for the kitchen. She and Joe had shared breakfast earlier, but she felt like today was going to be one of those days where no matter what she ate, she wasn't going to be full. She sighed. Since Joe came back into her life, her appetite had increased tenfold. She wouldn't give into it because she had weight regulations she needed to stay within.

"So how was Thanksgiving?" Pagano asked as he came up behind her?

"It was nice," she said noncommittally as she braced herself for what was coming. Pagano was way too interested in her private life, and it irritated her. She didn't like his constant probing, but she had to work with him. "Quiet. Watched the Bears game."

"Anything else you want to tell me?" he asked as she picked up her coffee mug.

"Not really," she said as she blew on the coffee. 

"Ok, I just thought you might seeing that you have a new piece of jewelry."

She stared him down. "Not open to discussion."

As she set her mug down, the building rocked. "What the hell was that?"

She started out of the office at a dead run. Outside the UCAN office, she couldn't believe the horror in front of her. What used to be the ER was totally gone. She was staring at the outside of the hospital.

She pulled her cell phone out of her pocket and called 911. As soon as she finished, she tried to find someone to offer her services. UCAN would definitely not be flying today. They had their own mess to deal with.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

While Cruz and Mills searched the parking garage, Joe worried about Taylor. He has no idea if she was involved in the blast or if she was safe. He had no time to check his phone, and he worried that she wouldn't be able to contact him.

"Anything from Taylor?" Mills asked as they went from row to row in the garage.

"Not yet."

"She'll be okay, Cruz."

"Seems to me we were telling Clarke that about a year ago."

"And it all was okay," Mills reminded.

Everything was okay with Clarke. He had been promoted to Lieutenant and was serving at Firehouse 25 as the Squad Lieutenant. He and Kaitlyn were planning on getting married the following summer. Things had worked out with Clarke, but there was a period of hours when Kaitlyn's life hung in the balance. Faulty wiring had caused a fire in her condo complex, and she would have died of smoke inhalation had Severide had not found her and brought her out.

Cruz heard Mills' voice over the radio saying he found the bomb. He hurried over to Mills' side to check it out.

Taylor tried to nap on an empty gurney. Things had finally started to settle down. The most seriously injured were at other hospitals. They were down to treats and releases at the present time. After sixteen hours, she was relieved and was told to go home. She couldn't leave her coworkers knowing they were just as exhausted as she was. Dr. Richards had ordered her to nap before she made a mistake. She rolled over on her side, and felt her cell phone press against her thigh. She rolled over onto her back and pulled it out of her pocket. Unlocking the screen, she checked her texts and missed calls. She saw three missed calls from Joe, all within the past hour. She pulled up her cell log and pressed the call button.

Cruz heard his cell vibrate, and he pulled it out of his pocket. He saw Taylor's number come up and he jumped out of his chair and walked out of the common room. "Are you okay?" he asked anxiously.

"I'm all right. I'm just ready to drop. Dr. Richards sent me to time out."

"What's going on over there?"

"We're doing the best we can. We're shipping because we can't really keep anyone upstairs. The ER is almost totally gone. The UCAN office is okay, but we're not flying anyone. What about you guys?"

"We're back at the house. I'm just glad you're okay."

"I'm fine. They wanted to send me home, but I couldn't go. They need me here."

"But you're in time out."

"For a couple of minutes. Dr. Richards should be gone by now. I can go back to the pod."

"Just be careful. I love you. And don't you dare say you love me more."

"I do."

"I'll see you when I'm off shift."

"Ok. I should be home by then." She disconnected and slid off the gurney. No way was she going to be able to nap when her coworkers were busy working. She was counting on Dr. Richards to be long gone from the ER when she rounded the corner. She entered the nurse's station and checked the computer for patients she could assess.

"Williams, I thought I sent you home," she heard from behind her.

'_Oh,shit. Busted,'_ she thought. She turned around.

"I can't go home when patients need treated," she said.

"We have enough staff to take care of things. Stop playing combat nurse and go home. You can come back tomorrow morning if you want to, but right now you really need to get away from here."

She bristled at being told she was playing combat nurse. Combat nursing was very much like Emergency nursing, only it was done under fear of constant enemy attack. She stood up. "I'm going. But I'm only going because I'm not in the mood to fight about this right now. I've gone longer hours than this taking care of patients and I've been fine. Stop trying to think you know what is best for me because you don't."

As she entered the UCAN office, she closed the door behind her and slammed her fist into the wall. While she respected Dr. Richards as an excellent Emergency Medicine physician, she despised his personality and his attitude that nurses were still the doctor's handmaidens. Nursing had advanced so much in the past twenty years, and he was still clinging to the 1940's mentality. "Dammit," she swore under her breath. "I hate having to leave patients that need me."


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

Cruz quietly unlocked Taylor's apartment door and stepped inside. He could smell the coffee that had been brewed, but she was nowhere in sight. He took off his coat and shoes, and when he looked up, she stood in front of him. "Taylor," he whispered as he wrapped her into his arms and squeezed her tightly. "Thank God you're okay."

"Thank God you're okay," she said as she hugged his waist.

"I wasn't there. I just responded," he said before kissing the first piece of exposed flesh he could find—her neck.

She bit her tongue. They both knew how dangerous his job was and how he could have been hurt or worse. It went unsaid. Joe whispered in her ear and she nodded.

He wiped tears from her eyes, she held him as close to her as he could get. "What the hell happened?" he asked, not understanding the restlessness inside him. 

"It's the need to reaffirm life," she explained. "We see so much bad shit sometimes, we need to remind ourselves that it won't always be like that."

He looked at her like she was an alien. "So this urgent need to make love was normal?"

She nodded. "Making love one of the easiest ways to reaffirm life. Because sometimes a new life is created."

"Taylor-"

She touched his lips with her index finger. "Shhhh. No worries," she reassured.

"How'd you get so smart? I mean, I always knew you were smart, but-" he broke off before he made an ass out of himself again and made her mad.

"It's basic biology, Joe. You see something bad, you want to replace it with something good. And nothing is better than making love."

He smiled. "Got that right."

"And trust me, we're probably not the only ones. I'd bet you an entire casino that every cop, fire, emergency and healthcare worker that isn't injured and has a spouse or lover is doing the exact same thing."

"If you can prove that, you'd be a very rich lady."

"I'm already rich. I have you back."

"I'm nothing special."

"Oh yes, Joe Cruz. You are very special."

Joe kissed her. "You've always thought so."

"I have," she admitted. "I knew you were the one the first time you kissed me."

He smiled. Their first kiss was a bit awkward. He had waited until they got to the top of the Ferris Wheel at the Navy Pier. When he finally got the nerve to kiss her, the operator had started the wheel in motion again. His lips had landed half on her cheek, half on her lips. Luckily, she had turned her head so he could land the second kiss on her mouth. "I missed the first time."

"Wasn't your fault. The Ferris Wheel went forward too soon."

"You remembered."

"Girls never forget their first kiss, Joe. Or their first serious boyfriend."

He smiled and settled her on top of his chest. "I love you Taylor Elizabeth Williams."


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

_Authors Note: I really really really need to be studying for my Nursing Management final tomorrow, but these two will not leave me alone. I keep thinking stuff up… And I have no idea what Joe's middle name is, so I made one up. When I find out what it really is, I will change it._

"I love you, Joseph Andres Cruz."

He looked up at her. "You remembered my middle name?"

"And your Confirmation name."

"Nahhhh… " he started.

She nodded. "Yeahhhhh…."

"So what is it?"

"You took Christopher."

"And you took Catherine."

She looked at him. "Oh My God! You remembered that?"

"There's very little I don't remember, Taylor."

"That sounds familiar."

She shifted a bit, arching her back and pulling herself up on her hands. "I hope you forgot about the night my bra broke. Geez, I was so embarrassed."

He laughed. "I could never forget that! I'd been trying to figure out a way to get you out of your bra, and boom… it just breaks…"

"Yeah, well, it had broken earlier. I just put a safety pin in it. How was I to know the damn thing was going to come undone?"

"You don't know how badly I wanted to touch them. God, it was like I was handed the perfect opportunity, and I was so afraid you'd get pissed at me if I tried."

"No," she admitted.

"No?"

"I wanted you to. I was ready to make love with you, but I didn't say anything because I didn't want you to think I was a tramp."

"It would have saved us another two months," he agreed. He took her arms so she had no choice but to lay down again. "We got a second chance. A lot of people don't get that."

"No, they don't," she agreed. "You are my heart, Joe."

"And I can't figure out why."

"Don't try to figure it out. Just accept it."

"Not only beautiful and smart, but wise too."

She leaned forward and whispered something in his ear.

He smiled and kissed her. "Baby, please think about a wedding date. I don't want to wait too much longer to make you Mrs. Cruz."


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

_Author's Note: For those who asked, I scored an 85% on my Management final, which gave me a B in the class. The Critical Care final is on Friday… I only need a 63% on the final to pass, which means I am definitely graduating! But now I have to quit fooling around and get back to studying. _

Taylor tried on the bridal gown, and stepped out of the dressing room. She checked in the full length mirror before stepping out onto the floor where the "bridal consultant" waited. She rolled her eyes at the term. The person was just an employee who wore a fancy title because God Forbid, anyone be a salesperson anymore.

She knew what she wanted in a gown, but this being the fifth one she had tried on, it didn't look like she was making any progress. She didn't want strapless, but 98% of the gowns in the store were just exactly that. She wanted something drama and fuss free. Definitely not in the ones she had seen.

"It looks beautiful on you!" the consultant enthused. "You're going to be such a beautiful bride!" She walked over and started to fuss with the gown and the train.

"I don't like it," Taylor announced.

"Why not? It's a perfect fit for you. We would just need to alter it, but it is so you."

"I don't want strapless. I want cap sleeves and less revealing."

"We don't have anything like that, but let me show you some of the new ones that just came in."

Before Taylor could say "Don't bother," the bridal consultant was hurrying away toward the stockroom.

She caught a glance at another bride to be heading for the mirror and she stepped aside so the new one could check out the back of her gown.

"Thanks," the woman said gratefully. "I didn't know looking for a dress was so much of a hassle."

"Me either," Taylor agreed. She looked down at the gown she was wearing. "This is number five. Definitely not me regardless of what the bridal consultant says.

"This is number three and it's a possibility although I'm not in love with it as much as I should be. When's your date?"

"May 17th. We had to plan for when all of our friends weren't working the weekend."

The woman stopped and turned. "We have the same problem. My fiance's friends work every other weekend, so we have to plan for when they aren't working."

"What does he do?"

"He's a squad lieutenant with CFD."

Taylor smiled. "What house?"

"25."

"Mine works at 51."

The woman's jaw dropped. "My fiancé used to work at 51. He had to transfer out because he passed his Lieutenant's test."

"So you must be Kaitlyn," Taylor mused. "Jeff's your fiancé."

Kaitlyn looked at her, eyes practically popping out of her head. "You know Jeff?"

"Not personally, but I've heard nothing but good about him. He is really missed at 51."

"And you're-?" she asked.

"Taylor Williams. Fiance is Joe Cruz."

Kaitlyn smiled. "I love Joe! He's such a sweetheart. You've got a good one there."

Taylor smiled. "Yeah, I do. I think I'll keep him."

"Hey, I know this probably sounds weird and all, but since we're in the Sisterhood, do you want to grab some lunch and make a battle plan for a new bridal shop? I'm not finding anything I like in here."

"That sounds like fun," Taylor agreed. "I'm not finding anything I like in here either."


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

_Author's Note: For all who have been sweet enough to ask… I found out late Saturday night that I have passed all of my classes this semester and I officially have my BSN and am a Graduate Nurse. Now on to all of the fun things… like studying for boards… and passing. In the meantime, I hope you enjoy this chapter. It's a lot fluffy, but it's time for some female bonding. _

Taylor stared at her IPhone as Siri gave a list of three bridal shops in the area. She was already counting out David's Bridal because she had heard nothing but bad things about it. Kaitlyn had a notebook out and was writing things in it.

"There are two on East Oak, Belle Vie Bridal and Ultimate Bride," Taylor informed Kaitlyn. "I'm checking the reviews right now, but they both require an appointment."

Kaitlyn nodded. "I didn't think of that… I just assumed you walked into a bridal shop, and…. "

"Yeah, me too. Of course, we could always _try _to get in without an appointment."

Kaitlyn giggled. "You are so bad."

"Hey, my money spends just like everyone else's. If they're that desperate to sell a dress or two, they'll let us in."

"True," Kaitlyn agreed as she picked through her salad looking for more chicken. "Guys are so lucky. All they do is go to the tuxedo shop and say I need a tux and they're in and out in half an hour."

"Sucks, doesn't it? I don't think Joe's even thought about a tux, let alone what color."

"If I had my way, we'd have a western wedding. I saw a really cute dress that would go really well with cowboy boots and a hat. It wasn't all frills and lace, but it was really adorable. But, I can't see Jeff in cowboy boots or a hat, so that's out."

"Kaitlyn, it's your wedding. You should have what you want. If you ask Jeff and present it to him, he just might go along with it."

"True," Kaitlyn agreed. "And we could always have a military wedding."

"You could," Taylor agreed. "As could I."

"You served?" Kaitlyn asked.

"US Navy. Eight years."

"My twin is a Navy doctor. She's at Bethesda."

"Good hospital," Taylor said as she sipped her iced tea. "One of the best military hospitals in the country. I was stationed at NH Naples and NRMC San Diego."

"Ooooh, Italy! I've always wanted to go there! What's it like?"

"It's very romantic. And the men- " she broke off. "Oooh, la la! They love blondes."

"Every European country loves blondes."

Taylor laughed. "Because they have so few over there. Unless you're in Northern Italy or Sweden."

"True. Sweden has a lot of blondes."

"Where were you stationed?" Taylor asked.

"Hickam mostly. I was deployed to Germany and Afghanistan." She shook her head. "Not pretty."

"I can imagine. Especially being female, military, and educated."

"It was rough," Kaitlyn said.

"But I'm sure Hickam was paradise."

"Not bad, but expensive as hell. I don't know how anyone can afford to live there."

"San Diego is the same way. For it being an old Navy town, it sure is outrageous to live there. But, I'll trade the high rent for a surfboard and the beach any day." She sighed. "I miss California some days."

"I miss Hawaii too. Especially during the winters here."

"You get used to them."

The waitress made a trip over and asked if they needed anything else. Both declined dessert. "Gotta fit into the wedding dresses," they said in unison before dissolving into giggles.


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

"Dinner's ready," Taylor called from the kitchen. She filled two plates and carried them to the dining room table. She set them in front of the seat Joe designated as his, and the chair she always sat in. Returning to the kitchen, she brought in the coffee pot, two bottles of beer, the bread basket, and the salad bowl.

Joe watched her carrying everything in. "How do you do that without spilling everything?" he asked.

"Waited tables and tended bar on weekends," she explained as she set the salad and the coffee pot on the table. "Learned how to make the least amount of trips to the kitchen with the most stuff for the table."

"You amaze me," he said as he reached out to take the beer from her.

"Not so amazing," she said. "Navy pay isn't all that great. Had to find something for the off hours." She took a sip of her beer. "So, can I talk to you about some wedding stuff?"

Joe set down his fork and looked at her. "Babe, I'm not going shopping for dresses with you."

"I'm aware of that. I was just wondering if we could get married at 51?"

"You want to get married at the house?"

She nodded. "The Chief's wedding was perfect… until the fire broke out. If everyone is at the house, they can all come to the wedding."

She noticed he was going into thinking mode. When he thought things over, he seemed to shut out the world while he was considering things. She waited him out.

"You really want to get married at 51 and not at St. Ignatius?"

"I do."

"I'll talk to the Chief."

"Thanks, Honey." She stood up and leaned over, giving his cheek a kiss. "You're too good to me."

"It's your day, Babe. You should have whatever you want."

"All I want is you standing there waiting for me at the end of the carpet."

"I'll be there. I've waited way too long for that day. I don't want to wait any longer than I have to." He looked up at her. "I never wanted to marry anyone but you, Tay. When you left, it damn near tore me apart."

"It did tear me apart. I was so stupid. I should have just trusted you."

"You trust me now?"

"With my life."

He took her hand and brought it up to his lips. "Thank you."


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

Taylor slammed the door of her office, and drew the shades. It was classic Do Not Disturb behavior, and she didn't give a damn. This shift couldn't end fast enough to suit her. A pileup on I 294 resulted in eight being flown, seven critical, and the eight year old DOA. An hour later, they were called out to another great huge mess on I 90. The wrong way driver smashed head on into a tractor trailer. She parked her butt in her chair, and covered her face with her hands. She never remembered a shift where 5 people had died and there was a possibility of more. The elderly couple had made her feel bad, but they had been married for forever, had children, grandchildren, a dog, and had, well, a life. The eight year old was killing her. She never had a chance. She'd never grow up, get married, raise a child or two, or go to the prom. It was just too much, especially before noon.

Two hours later, there was a knock on her office door. She ignored it, hoping whomever it was would just give up and go away. The heard the doorknob turning. That could only be one person.

"Come on, Taylor, open the fucking door!" Pagano yelled.

She sighed. "Of all the people in all the world, why did you have to walk into mine?" she muttered. Ordinarily, she didn't mind Pagano, but she minded how he always wanted to dive into her personal life. Why her life was his mission was a total mystery to her. "Get lost, Pagano," she yelled back. "Don't bug me unless we get a call."

Of course, Pagano took that as a sign to antagonize her more. "Would you please just open up the door? I need to talk to you."

"I said, go away."

Pagano slumped against the door frame. He needed to distress, and he knew Taylor did as well. As expected, she had retreated to her office and locked the door. God only knew what she did in there, but whatever it was, it seemed like he wasn't getting an invitation to the party.

He blew out a sigh. He never could understand why she had outwardly rejected all attempts at friendship. She had made it clear from the beginning that they were coworkers and nothing more. In the beginning he had hoped that eventually she would come around and they could date, but it never happened. Then she showed up after Thanksgiving wearing a vintage brilliant cut on her left hand. The worst part of all was she wouldn't give him any information about her fiancé. She hadn't even told him her future husband's name.

"Come on, Taylor, open the door," he pleaded one last time. He knew by now her anger would be at the boiling point, and she'd be flying across the office, practically tearing the door from its hinges, just ready to give him a piece of her mind.

His phone buzzed, indicating a text message. He pulled the phone out of his flight suit pocket and punched the text message app screen. He read it, and slammed his fist against the door frame.

_Just leave me the fuck alone._

He walked back to his office in defeat. Taylor very rarely dropped the f bomb. When she did, she was either good and pissed or ready to rip someone's throat out. As he walked, he typed

_As you wish, but you're going to need to talk about this sooner or later._


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

Taylor entered Molly's and took the last table in the corner. She needed to be alone and didn't want to socialize, so she took the don't bother me table.

"Hey, Taylor, what can I get you?" Otis asked as he approached her.

"Crown and Coke," she said. "And make it a double."

Otis walked back to the bar and made the drink. He looked over at Hermann. "Better get Cruz on speed dial. I don't like how this is going to play out."

"What's up?" Hermann asked.

"She's ordering doubles."

"I'll bet she flew that accident on 294. You know, the one where the kid got killed."

"It wouldn't hurt to keep an eye on her."

Two hours later, Otis picked up the phone and called Cruz telling him to get his rear end down to Molly's and pick up Taylor. 

"What's going on?" Cruz asked.

"Man, she's shitfaced drunk. I don't know what happened, but she came in two hours ago and started ordering Crown & Coke doubles."

Joe hung up the phone and headed out. This was so out of character for Taylor. She always stopped at two. Something had happened, and he had no idea what. If she was as drunk as Otis said she was, he wasn't going to be finding anything out until at least tomorrow morning when she woke up with a hangover she would regret for probably the next millennium.

Otis nodded to the back booth once he entered the bar. "Did she eat anything?" he asked.

"She had a liquid dinner," he said as he poured a pitcher of Pabst.

"Great," Cruz said sarcastically. "Thanks for calling."

"Anytime."

Joe approached Taylor's table. He slid across the table from her. She looked up and gave him a look that clearly said _'Oh, shit, I'm so busted.'_

"Otis has a big mouth," she said by way of greeting.

"What's going on, Tay? You never get drunk."

"Well, to quote the great Kwai Chang Caine, _'It has been one HELL of a day'."_

"That doesn't tell me anything except you've had a bad day."

She looked up at him. "Are we having a fight?"

"Not yet."

"I don't wanna fight. I wanna go home."

"Ok, I'll take you home."

She picked up her glass and drained it. "Joe, I'm drunk."

"I know, Tay. Let's get you home so I can get some coffee in you."

As they passed the bar, Joe stopped. "Did she pay her tab?"

Otis nodded. "And gave me a 10 dollar tip."

"Thanks for calling. I'm gonna get her home."


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

Taylor leaned her head against the bathtub as she sat on the bathroom floor waiting for the next wave of nausea to begin. While she knew it was a totally stupid and asinine idea to get so drunk the previous evening, staying sober wasn't a better option.

She tried to lift her head when she heard Joe open the bathroom door. "Can I come in?" he asked.

She nodded weakly. He handed her a glass of juice and two ibuprofen tablets. "Here. Try these."

She took the juice and the ibu. She tossed them down with the juice, and waited for her stomach to revolt.

Joe sat down beside her and rubbed her back. He waited for her to say something, anything to give him a clue about what had caused her to go off the deep end.

Taylor sat up and leaned against Joe. He stopped rubbing her back and wrapped his arm around her protectively. "You really are too good to me," she started, closing her eyes again.

"How so?" he asked.

"You're not in here giving me hell, telling me I did this to myself and you have no sympathy, and that I deserve what I am getting."

"Must have been something awful to send you down to Molly's."

"It was awful. First the accident on the 294, then the one on 90. 5 people died. 5. I've never lost that many except for when I was on active duty." She bowed her head so he wouldn't see her tears, but her shaking shoulders gave it away. The old married couple I could handle. The 8 year old-"

Joe tightened his grip and laid his cheek on top of hers. "I'm so sorry, Tay. I know it's hard. I've seen some pretty crappy stuff too. It's hard to take sometimes." He hoped he was being supportive. He was never sure because the female gender still confused the hell out of him. She cried harder.

Ten minutes later, Taylor raised her head and reached for the toilet paper. She blew her nose and tossed the mess into the toilet. She reached into the bathtub and turned on the water. Grabbing the soap, she washed her hands. She looked up at Joe. "I must look like hell."

"But a beautiful hell." He kissed her forehead. "Think you can handle some breakfast?"

"Maybe some coffee and a piece of toast."

"I'll get the coffee made. Take as long as you need."

She slowly stood up and turned on the shower. "Crown and Coke… never again," she vowed.


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26

_Author's Note: Big shout outs here to my girls 2NYwLove and When I Make It Shine for their wonderful support, encouragement, and most of all, keeping me sane and focused during finals week. If it weren't for you two and M. Louise E, I probably would have given up on not only this story, but Chicago Fire as well. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. You guys rock! _

After her shower, Taylor made her way into the bedroom to get dressed. As she slipped on her hoodie, she realized that Joe was in her kitchen making her breakfast. She shook her head gently because it still felt like it was going to explode. When, exactly, had he moved in? She didn't remember him bringing over boxes of stuff, but he did bring over some clothes and his toothbrush.

She sat down on the bed and slipped on her socks. Joe always laughed at the fuzzy ones, but they kept her feet warm.

"Tay? Coffee's ready," Joe called from the kitchen.

"Be right there," she called as she stood up.

He was being so damn good to her today, and she certainly didn't deserve it. What she did deserve was a big lecture about being stupid and getting drunk. The good thing was, her car was parked in her parking garage, and she had walked to Molly's the night before, so there was no risk of getting a DWI. Joe had been sent to retrieve her, and he was sober. Plus, they walked back to her place. The last thing she needed was a ding on her nursing license. Illinois Board of Nursing didn't take too kindly to nurses with convictions for DWI.

"Feel better?" Joe asked as she entered the kitchen.

"Not really."

Joe set a cup of coffee and two pieces of dry toast in front of her. "I can make tea if you'd like?" he offered.

"Coffee's fine. Don't bother yourself."

He sat down next to her. "Promise you won't get mad at me?"

'I won't get mad at you. What did you do?"

He looked so much like a little boy with those big brown puppy dog eyes that she could forgive him the world.

"I answered your phone."

"Okayyyyy," she said, still not knowing where this conversation was going.

"Somebody named Pagano called-"

"Oh, shit!" she muttered.

"He said he worked with you," Joe explained.

"He does. He's the office's Roving Reporter. Sticking his nose in where it doesn't belong. I get so sick and tired of his nebbing."

"Nebbing?" he asked. "Never heard that before."

"It's a Pittsburgh word. April, our secretary is from Pittsburgh. There are variations. When you're being nosy, you're being nebby, or nebbing in. She never said it exactly, but I think its short for neb nose." She sighed. "Pagano wants to date me. He has since Day One. He's never asked, but I made it perfectly clear that we were coworkers and nothing more. He reminds me of Eddie Haskell. You know, the nerd that nobody likes. And he lives with his mother. There's something very Norman Batesish about him."

Joe nodded. "He sounds like a real nerd."

"He is. But he's brilliant. He's the critical care nurse I would want taking care of me on a flight."

Joe nodded. "Anyway, he said that you're scheduled for a debriefing session tomorrow at 9:00."

"Wonderful," she said sarcastically.

"It might be a good thing, Tay. You could get it all out."

She dunked her toast into her coffee. She looked around and wished for a doughnut. "The shrink will show up, ask how you are, and say he's there if you need him. It's probably the same BS you guys have at CFD. I just tell them what they want to hear because they really don't want to have to actually _work_ on this. It's their pro bono crap, and believe me, if they aren't getting paid, they sure as hell don't want to waste any more time than they have to."

"Well, anyway, you have to go. And you have to be there at 9."

"Oh. Joy."

Joe took her hand. "Tay, you're one of the strongest people I know. But it's okay to not be strong sometimes."

Tears welled up in her eyes. "I just keep thinking what if she was our little girl? Her parents must be devastated."

"I'm sure they are," he agreed. "But we're gonna have boys."

She smiled. "Just because you had brothers doesn't mean that you can't have daughters."

"Perish the thought. I am not going to allow one stitch of anything pink in my house."

"For real?" she asked, thinking about her several pairs of pink scrubs.

"For real. A man's home is his castle. And Castle Cruz does not allow pink."

"We'll see about that, King Cruz."


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27

"What's that supposed to mean?" Joe asked.

"It means that Queen Cruz will permit the wearing of pink. Especially when your little Princess turns you into a puddle of mush."

"We're not having girls."

"You can't make that statement, Joe. It's a 50/50 chance every time there is a pregnancy."

"Do you know the last time there was a girl in the Cruz family? And I don't mean my mother? 50 years ago."

"And that just goes to show you that it's time for a girl."

"Would you be disappointed with a boy?" he asked.

"Of course not! Any child of ours would be loved, welcomed, and spoiled rotten. I don't care what sex we have. What I care about is you being a good father."

"Tay," he blushed. "Are we having a fight?"

"Not yet."

He leaned across the table and kissed her, spilling her coffee in the process. "I'm sorry, Hon. I'll get it cleaned up."

She waved her hand. "Don't worry about it." She reached for the napkins and covered the liquid, then started mopping up what wasn't picked up in the napkins.

"You want a new cup?" he offered, feeling rotten that he spilled her mug and even more rotten that she was not only taking it in stride, but cleaning up the mess he had made.

"Half," she said as she tossed the napkins into a soggy pile and put them on her plate. "I just don't have much of an appetite yet."

She rose from the table as his phone rang. She picked up the dishes and took them to the kitchen, loading them in the dishwasher. While Joe took his call, she scribbled something on a piece of paper and held it up in front of him. He nodded and she headed for her bedroom. A nap sounded like a wonderful idea. She had not slept much the night before. Joe had her in and out of the shower twice, and poured what seemed like gallons of coffee into her while he walked the floors with her. She had just slipped into her flannel pajamas when Joe knocked on the door.

"Yeah?" she asked.

He poked his head in. "That was Otis. He just wanted to know how you were doing."

"That was nice of him."

"I have to go to the gym. Are you going to be okay if I go?"

"I'll be fine. Go. I'm just going to take a nap. Have fun."

She crawled into bed, and pulled up the covers.

"Baby, you don't know how inviting that looks right now."

She stared down at her pajamas. "They're the unsexiest piece of nightwear that I own."

"Yeah, but you look so damn cute." He checked his watch. "I'll be back in a couple of hours. If you feel like it, I'll make you lunch when I get home."

"Ok. I'll see you when you get back."

She heard the front door close, and she snuggled down in bed as she pulled the covers over her head. He stepped out into the hall wondering if he should turn around and go back inside. He took a step forward and reminded himself that she told him to go. He made his way down the hall and to the elevator. _'Quick workout,' _he decided as he punched the elevator button.


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28

Joe scratched Pouch's head as Pouch decided to sit on his lap instead of Mouch's. "What's up, Pouch?" he asked. "Mouch give you the boot?"

Pouch looked up at Joe, and wagged her tail. Joe picked up the paper, and turned to the Sports section.

"So, Cruz, I hear congratulations are in order," Severide said as he entered the common room and headed for the coffee pot.

"Otis, did you have to tell the whole station?" Cruz snapped. Pouch raised her head, looked at Joe, and whimpered. Joe looked down at her. "It's okay, Pouch."

"I can't help it, Cruz. I'm happy for you, Man," Otis offered by way of an apology.

Cruz sighed. "Ok, everyone… since Otis told Severide, God only knows who else he has told. I'm getting married."

A silence fell over the room. Cruz looked at his coworkers before continuing. "You met her at the Halloween party at Molly's. Her name is Taylor, and she's a flight nurse for UCAN."

Hermann broke the silence. "You mean to tell me someone that pretty wants to marry a lug like you?" He walked over to Joe and held out his hand. Ordinarily, he would have given him a hug, but since he was seated on the couch, it would have been an awkward moment.

"Yeah, she does. We should have done this 20 years ago."

"So, did you take her out for a fancy dinner and ask the big question?" Severide asked.

"No. I asked her on top of the Ferris Wheel on the Navy Pier," Joe said. "She loves the Ferris Wheel."

"Cruz! You should have taken her out for dinner somewhere nice and asked her. What's wrong with you?"

"In case you haven't noticed, Severide, I'm not the fancy dinner type."

"Yeah, but you're only going to get married once in your life. You should have done it up right."

Before Cruz could answer, the familiar sound of tones dropped. "Engine 51, Truck 81, Squad 3, Ambulance 61…."


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29

Joe lay on his bunk in the dorm staring at the ceiling and contemplated what Severide had said earlier about taking Taylor out for dinner and proposing. He had thought he had done okay by asking her on the Navy Pier, and she had never voiced an objection about his chosen location. Maybe he should have taken her out somewhere ridiculously expensive that served mini portions on small plates. He kept telling himself he and Taylor weren't fancy dinner types, but he just couldn't dismiss Severide's comments.

Severide would know the way to a woman's heart because he had notches on top of notches in his red suspenders. Joe had… Taylor. Taylor never complained, and was always happy to do mundane ordinary things like playing mini golf and sharing a beer at a Hawks game.

He rolled over and let out a sigh. Maybe Severide was right.

He reached for his phone after he felt the vibration and heard the buzz of an incoming text. He opened it up.

_Miss you. Can't sleep. Stay safe. Luv u. T. _

He read the text and smiled. Evidently he wasn't the only one who was having trouble sleeping. He pushed the reply area and started to type.

_Miss you too. Can't sleep either. I'm not saying the Q word. Luv u 2. _

He set the phone back on the floor and closed his eyes. Maybe the Sleep Gods would be nice and let him catch a nap before the next call.

Taylor got out of bed and headed to the kitchen. She reached inside and pulled out a bottle of beer and the cheese she had cut up earlier. She reached inside the cupboard for the crackers, and took everything to the living room. She wondered if not sleeping while Joe was on shift was going to become a habit. She hoped not because their shifts were usually the same, but she had ACLS recertification, so she had an 8 hour day instead of 12. She took everything to the living room, parked her butt on the couch, and turned on the TV. Joe's moving in had given her bad habits—like snacking on junk food and beer in the middle of the night. She definitely had to hit the gym.

Joe paced the lobby of the restaurant, hoping Taylor would show up soon. When he had called her and asked her to meet him here, he could hear the hesitation in her voice. He wondered one more time if he was doing the right thing. He glanced up when he heard the door open. He smiled when he saw her. She saw him and hurried over, giving him a hug.

"You know you didn't have to do this," she admonished in his ear. "I'm just as happy with a pizza from Lou's."

"I know, but I wanted to take you out someplace nice for once," he offered, wondering one more time if this was a good idea.

She glanced at the menu, not seeing anything on it that she liked, and knowing she couldn't order just a salad, she studied it more intently. She hated French food, but she would never tell Joe that. He seemed hell bent on making this nice for her, and she wasn't about to ruin it for him. When he suggested the tasting menu, she gladly went along, grateful that she didn't have to make the decision.

When the waiter poured the coffee, Taylor hoped her excuse of not being hungry had worked. Dinner really had been good, just not to her taste. Joe looked uncomfortable, so she reached for his hand. She took it between hers. "Are you all right?" she asked, concerned.

Joe felt like he was going to throw up. "Tay, I have something to ask you."

"Joe, you know you can ask me anything."

Joe took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I need your ring back."

Taylor looked at him like he had suddenly sprouted two heads. She blinked, and felt all of that rich French food turn in her stomach. She felt tears form, but she blinked them away. Silently she slipped the ring off of her finger and handed it over to him. She rose from her seat. She stood up and kissed his cheek. "Thank you for coming back into my life again, Joe Cruz. Please know I will always love you."

Joe looked at her. He reached for her hand. He caught her around her wrist. _'Oh, my_ _God,'_ he thought. Then he thought the unthinkable. "Tay, it's not what you think. It's not. Not by a long shot. Please, sit down," he practically begged. He had to make this right somehow.

"Joe, why? I thought everything was going okay?"

"It is okay. Please, sit down so I can explain."

She really didn't want to torture herself any further, but she at least owed him that much. She sat down.

Joe mentally kicked himself for listening to Severide. This date had been nothing but a disaster from the minute he decided to do this. He took her hand and put the ring back on her finger, but not sliding it down to the bottom of her finger. "Will you marry me?"

Taylor looked at him, noticing that he wanted to tell her more, but he wouldn't until she said yes or no. She could also tell that he was upset. "Yes," she said. "Now will you _please _tell me what is going on?"

Joe fiddled with his coffee cup, then picked it up and took a sip. "It was Severide's idea. He said I needed to take you out for a fancy dinner and propose properly."

"Joe. The way you proposed was just fine. I didn't need any of this-"she waved her hand around. "And why did you listen to Severide anyway?"

"Well, he dates a lot."

"There's a reason why he dates a lot. He can't make a commitment to one woman. He's not like you. He's a good guy, but if I wanted to date someone like Severide, I would be. I don't want someone like Severide. I want you." She reached out and took his hand. "I'm happy with you just the way you are, Joe."

"I just wanted to make things nice for you, Tay."

"I realize that. And I appreciate it. But please don't think you need to do this all of the time, because you don't. I'm perfectly happy sharing a pizza and a six pack."

"I should have known better," he agreed. "But the way he talked, it sounded like I had to do this."

"I love you, Joe Cruz. But if you ever do this again, I'm going to be very angry."

"I don't like you when you're angry. You're dangerous."

She laughed.

"I promise I won't do it again. Unless you ask me to."

"That will never happen."

He signaled the waiter for the check. When it arrived, he pulled out his MasterCard and paid the bill. "Are you ready to go home?"

"Been ready."


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30

Joe unlocked the apartment door and stood aside so Taylor could enter. He closed the door, and made sure it was locked. Taylor had stripped off her coat and kicked off her shoes. Joe stepped up behind her and gave her a kiss on the back of the neck. "I'm sorry I messed things up."

Taylor leaned against him. "It's okay, Joe."

"I scared you, didn't I?"

"For a few minutes. I'm just not ready to lose you again. The first time was hard enough. I don't think I can do it again."

"I'm sorry I scared you. But you're not going to lose me again. I promise."

She turned around and laid her head on his shoulder. Joe pulled her closer and held her, making small circles on her back with his hand. She closed her eyes and sighed. "I love you, Joe."

"I love you. And don't you dare say I love you more because there is no possible way that can happen."

She lifted her head. "Wanna bet?"

"Can't prove it. Can't win a bet without proof. But if you want to be silly enough to bet, I'll bet you Blackhawks tickets."

"Of course you would." She sighed. "Only the most expensive ticket in town." 

"Babe, I'm not waiting till Spring to cash in. Baseball season is too far away."

"That's for damn sure."

Joe sighed when he heard Taylor's phone ring. Every time he tried to get romantic, he swore her damn phone went off. It was like someone had a spy camera on them or something.

Taylor broke away from Joe to reach in her purse for her phone. "It's a number I don't know," she said as she unlocked the phone. "This is Taylor."

She listened for a minute. "Oh. Oh my God. Of course. Of course I'll take care of that. Ok, yes, please do. Thank you." She disconnected and pulled up her phone list. She punched a number.

"What's up?" Joe asked.

"That was Mrs. Pagano. Pagano's been in a bad car accident. He's in the ER at Chicago Med. She said it doesn't look good." She punched numbers on her phone. "Hey, Stacy, it's Taylor. I just got a phone call from Pagano's Mom. She said he's been in a bad car accident. She asked me to call and let all of you know. She said he's in the ER. No, I don't know anything more. Can you pass it on, please? Thanks," she said as she disconnected.

Joe looked at her. He wasn't sure what she was going to do. "Are you going to go to the hospital?" he asked.

"I don't know if I should. Pagano might read more into it than what it really is. But his Mom could probably use some support." She walked over to him. "I don't know what to do, Joe."


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31

"Get changed. I'll get changed and drive you. You're in no shape to drive."

"You're probably right," she admitted as she headed for the bedroom.

Taylor was calm and had nerves of steel in the face of an emergency, but when it came to her personal life crises, she could fall apart in the blink of an eye. Joe knew that, and that is why he offered to drive her. Hurriedly, she tore off her stockings.

"There goes another five dollar pair," he remarked as he observed the runs in the stockings.

"They're just stockings. I can replace them," she reminded.

Joe looked at the sexy garter belt and sighed. He loved it when she wore her sexy lingerie. He especially loved it when he could slip off her jeans and hoodies and could find a lacy bra and matching thong. He shook his head, sad that there probably wasn't going to be any extracurricular activity in the Jaylor household that night.

"So what's Mrs. Pagano like?" Joe asked casually.

"I have no idea. I've never met her," she admitted.

"But she knew to call you."

"I can't explain that, Joe. Unless he told her to call me." She unhooked the bra and pulled down her thong, and replaced them with a sports bra and a well worn pair of bikinis.

Joe looked at her choice of underwear and shook his head. She was back to the everyday utility undies. He didn't approve, but it was nice to see that she wasn't keeping her sexies on for Pagano.

She rifled through the top left drawer and pulled out a pair of socks. She put them on, then added a pair of sweatpants and her Cubs hoodie.

"You realize that it's hockey, basketball, and football seasons, right?" Joe reminded.

"Yes."

"So why are you wearing your Cubs hoodie?"

"Because it's warm and I'm cold, and well, I like it."

Joe rolled his eyes. He was a purist. He didn't believe in wearing sports apparel in the off season. Hockey, basketball, and football seasons meant wearing the appropriate Blackhawks, Bulls, and Bears apparel. Certainly not Cubs apparel in the middle of December. "Ok, but I don't know you," he decided.

Taylor looked at him. "Stop being such a purist. Live a little." She walked over to him and gave him a kiss. "Besides, you might find that you like it." She turned and walked out of the bedroom, letting him change his clothes.

As they made their way to Chicago Med, Taylor reached into her purse and pulled something out. Joe caught a glance of something metal, then heard the familiar clink of something touching the metal. "You still carry your rosary with you?" he asked in surprise.

She nodded as she concentrated on the Lord's Prayer.

He turned his attention back to the road, not wanting to disturb her. While he tried to say rosaries, it took him forever, and he always wound up frustrated because he could never remember what set of mysteries went on what day. What took him at least 45 minutes to do, Taylor could circle her beads in 10 minutes. All he could figure was she had an abbreviated version, although she always claimed she said all 55 prayers and the correct set of mysteries. Hell, he could never remember the mysteries. All he could remember was Joyful, Sorrowful, and Glorious. Sometimes he wondered if God would be mad at him for only saying the Lord's Prayer, Our Fathers, Hail Marys, and Glory Bes. That was the best he could do.

By the time he found a parking place in the parking garage, Taylor had just finished up and placed her beads back in her purse.

"Perfect timing. 10 minutes."

"I say at least one every day. But today needs at least two," she admitted as she opened the car door. Joe met her at the back of the car and pushed the remote to lock the door. He then took Taylor's hand as they started for the Emergency Room.


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter 32

When they reached the Emergency Room, Taylor headed for the waiting area. She glanced in through the doorway and saw a woman sitting alone. Taylor knew immediately that this was Pagano's mother. Quietly, she approached her with Joe in toe. She bent down beside the woman. "Mrs. Pagano?" she asked quietly.

The woman's head turned to face Taylor. "Hello, Taylor. It's nice to finally meet you. I'm just sorry it is under these circumstances."

"I'm so sorry, Ma'am. I'm sure this is hard for you." She looked up, then motioned for Joe to come forward. She felt Joe behind her. "This is my fiancé, Joe Cruz."

She looked up at Joe. "Fiancé? Francis never mentioned you had a fiancé."

"It's just recent, Ma'am. Joe and I used to date in high school."

She looked up at Joe. He mouthed "Francis?" and rolled his eyes. She waved her hand to shush him. 

"Oh, Taylor, you mustn't tell him you're getting married. He loves you so much."

Taylor bit her lip. Hard. She struggled with something to say to this woman. Finally, she found words. "He already knows, Mrs. Pagano. He found out the day after it happened."

She covered her face with her hands and sobbed. "I don't know what I'm going to do without him if something bad happens. Taylor, what will I do?"

"Let's not think about that now," Taylor soothed. "Let's stay positive."

Mrs. Pagano wiped her eyes. "They haven't told me anything."

"They might not know anything yet."

Joe shifted uncomfortably. Taylor reached out behind her and took his hand.

"Thank you for coming."

Taylor rose and stepped back to Joe's side. "Would you like us to stay?"

"For a few minutes if you don't mind."

"I don't mind."

"I'll be back with coffee," Joe offered.

Mrs. Pagano watched him leave. "He seems like a very good man."

"He is. I've been in love with him since I was sixteen years old."

"And you're just getting married now?"

Taylor took a seat, close enough to be near Mrs. Pagano, but far enough away not to invade her space. "It's a long story. I left after High School and joined the Navy. We just met up with each other in October."

"And neither one of you got married?"

"No, Ma'am."

"Destiny," she nodded. "I guess my poor Francis never had a chance with you." She leaned back in the chair. "Charles and I were married almost 40 years. He passed 10 years ago."

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"We had a good life together. I just want the same for Francis."

"Of course you do. You're a good Mom."

Joe returned with the coffee. He handed them out. "Thanks, Honey," Taylor said as she took her cup.

"Mrs. Pagano?" Dr. Steele asked from the doorway. 

"Yes," she acknowledged.

He entered the room. Taylor motioned for Joe for them to leave. She wanted Mrs. Pagano to have her privacy when she found out the news.

"I'm Dr. Steele. I have some news."


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter 33

As Joe drove home, Taylor thought back on the evening and the visit to the hospital. After Dr. Steele left, Mrs. Pagano, who insisted that Taylor and Joe call her Pearl, was able to visit her son. Before she went upstairs to visit, she ordered Taylor and Joe home to sleep, stating Taylor could visit in the morning. She was torn between visiting and not visiting. If she did, Pagano might take it as hope that they could date. If she didn't, everyone would misconstrue it as her being the cold hearted bitch she had the reputation of being. It wasn't that she didn't care; she did. She just didn't want to give Pagano any false hope that there was a chance for the two of them.

"You okay?" Joe asked quietly.

"I'm okay. Hell of a night, huh?"

"Could have been better," he agreed.

"Thanks for coming with me. I really needed your support."

"No problem. You'd do the same for me."

"You know it."

"For the record, I am never listening to Severide's advice again."

"Thank God for that."

"He always has a new girlfriend," Joe reminded.

"Of course he does. He's a player. Doesn't know how to make a commitment."

"He says it is because women fall in love with him too quickly."

Taylor snorted. Joe looked over at her. "Eyes on the road, please," she reminded gently. "I really don't want to have to go back to the ER tonight."

"What was that sound? I've never heard you make that before."

"Let's just say I'm not believing Severide's bullshit line. He just says that to make himself look better."

"Got him all figured out do you?"

"Been around his type for years. Usually they wear blues and have shoulder boards. Or flight suits."

Joe laughed. "Or turnout gear."

"Or turnouts," she agreed. "Please don't get me wrong. I like Kelly. I just don't like his reputation. He really needs a good woman to turn him around."

"He might have one."

"Really?"

Joe nodded. "Erin Lindsey. She's a cop down at the 2-1."

"The one down the street from you?"

"That would be the one."

"Interesting."

"Why's that?"

"The old cliché…. Firefighters marry cops and nurses. And vice versa."

Joe thought for a minute. "You don't think that's true do you?"

"Joe… what's your job?"

"Firefighter."

"And mine?"

"Nurse. But that's different. We should have been married before you were a nurse and I was a firefighter."

"Yes, we should have been. But someone named Taylor was stupid."

"No. I was stupid. I should have asked you to marry me and given you a promise ring till I had the other one paid off."

"Water under the bridge. I'm wearing it now."

"Yeah. Thank God. There was a time when I thought I would never give it to you."

"I'm glad you did."

"Me too."


	34. Chapter 34

Chapter 34

As Taylor popped out her contacts and placed them in the soaking solution, Joe entered the bathroom. She turned to look at him and noticed the little scrap of lace with straps that was dangling from his finger. She raised her eyebrows.

"Brought you pajamas in for you," he offered innocently.

"Thank you kindly," she said as she reached for the negligee.

Joe yanked it back, then took a step toward her, wrapping his arms around her and bringing her close to him.

Taylor closed her eyes. Joe always knew what she needed and when she needed it. She swore he had a psychic hotline to her soul. She stood wrapped in his arms for a few minutes before asking, "So, are you going to give me my pajamas or am I going to have to sleep in my Bears jersey?"

Joe blushed. He really didn't expect the reaction he had gotten. He had assumed she would grab the negligee and be embarrassed. Instead, she was actually going to put it on. Sheepishly, he handed it to her. "Here you go."

Taylor rolled over again, unable to sleep. She closed her eyes again, and tried counting sheep. It didn't work. She just ended up more frustrated than she was before she started trying to count sheep. She started a round of I Packed My Grandmother's Suitcase. She had successfully made it up to French Fries before Joe rolled over.

"You going to be sleeping soon?" he asked.

"I'm trying to. I'm sorry if I woke you up."

"Haven't been to sleep yet. You're tossing and turning too much."

"Sorry," she said as she lifted the covers and slipped out of bed. "I'll sleep on the couch so I don't disturb you."

"Don't go," he said quietly. "Knowing you're in the next room and not beside me, that would be pure Hell." Reaching over, he started to rub her back.

She sighed as she settled and felt his fingers kneading the knots out of her stiff shoulders.

"Kinda tight," he observed. "No wonder you can't sleep. You worried about Pagano or Pearl?"

Pearl mostly. It sounds like after her husband died, she made Pagano her whole world. If something happens, she's going to fall apart. That isn't healthy.'

"No it isn't," he agreed. He stopped rubbing and leaned forward, kissing her shoulder. "You're not going to be that kind of Mom are you?"

"Lord, I hope not. I don't want to be a helicopter parent."

"I'll make sure you aren't." He stopped rubbing her back and slid his arm around her waist, drawing her closer to him. "And you can't do anything about Pagano or Pearl, so you may as well try to sleep."


	35. Chapter 35

Chapter 35

_Author's note: This chapter is the final installment. While it's been a wonderful ride, these two need to begin a new chapter in their lives. Many thanks to my big supporters 2NYwlove and When I Make it Shine as well as M. Louise E who always have the time to not only read, but review. I can't thank you three enough. _

Taylor sat in the UCAN office, sipping coffee and reading the Tribune.

"Knock knock," same a familiar voice.

She glanced up. "Oh My God!" she yelled. "I never thought I would see this!" She got up from her desk and walked over to the doorway. "Come in! Come in!"

"Thanks," Pagano said as he stepped inside. Taylor pulled out the chair across her desk and helped him sit before returning to her seat.

"So, how's it going?" she asked.

"I just came from my checkup. The doctor says I should be good as new in another 6 weeks."

"For real?"

"For real. He said he could probably clear me to come back to work."

"That is great, Pagano. You're missed around here."

"You holding everything together?"

"Hardly. Since you've been gone, this place is falling apart."

"Seriously?"

"Seriously."

"I wonder if he'd let me come in part time. Not fly, but manage the office."

"Can't hurt to ask."

Pagano looked at her. She looked like she had lost some more weight that she couldn't lose. Her hair was longer but in desperate need of a trimming. And that damn diamond ring was still on her finger. "I just want to thank you for helping Mom out after the accident. I'm sure she appreciates it."

"Not a problem. She's a great lady.'

"She likes you."

"I like her too."

He shifted in his chair. "Thanks for coming to visit when I was in the hospital. It meant a lot."

"You're welcome, but I'm sure everyone came to visit."

"Not many."

"I'm sorry, Pagano."

He waved it away. "Don't be. I know I'm a pain in the ass. I expected it."

"No, I 'm the pain in the ass. And you're a damn good nurse, Pagano."

"So are you, Taylor. You're one of the best trauma nurses we've ever had."

"Lots of experience. But I did tell Joe if something happened to me, you are the one I would want taking care of me."

Pagano blushed. "You're too kind." He rose from the chair slowly. "I'll be back to antagonize you soon enough. Meantime, hold down the fort?"

"I will. It was good to see you. Please tell your Mom I said hello."

"I'll do that." He hesitated, as if unsure what to do next. Taylor joined him in the doorway. He looked down at her. "I never had a chance with you did I?" he asked.

"No, but it's not what you think. I've loved Joe since I was 15. I've never loved anyone else."

"Story of my life."

"I'm sorry, Pagano."

"So am I, Taylor."


End file.
